Seitempfu is a magical mélange of the three vegetarian super (fake) meats; Seitan, Tempeh and Tofu, designed to conclusively answer the tricky holiday question about how vegetarians get enough protein.

The first Seitempfu was born to offer the discerning epicure an alternative to the poultry triple whammy of the Turducken (a duck inside a chicken inside a turkey) that has recently rampaged across the Thanksgiving landscape. A feast fit for a king indeed, but what if your royals are vegetarians? (Or your Reg is a veg?) Fret not my friend, Seitempfu is a banquet for all.

While meat eaters across the US are contractually obliged to feast on Turkey based foodstuffs on Thanksgiving, vegetarians of all stripes have for years had only the Tofurky and (the now deceased) Unturkey to form the centerpiece of their own banquet.

Seitempfu 1: The Adventure Begins (December 31st 2005)
I realized something had to be done, and thus invented the world’s first vegetarian super food incorporating the holy trinity of fake meat products, and lo the Seitempfu was born. Here its creation is conveyed to you as amateurishly as possible:

(Oh, and it IS cumin.)

Seitempfu 2: Enter the Fu-tress (August 2006)
It’s true that some observers (and gourmands, revelers and even vegans) declaimed the first Seitempfu as pretty rubbish, but when we moved out some months later and a new wave of vegans moved into our house, we needed a dish to properly commemorate the occasion and I reconceived the beast, as you can see here:

Seitempfu 3: This time with Cranberries
Buoyed by the success of structural integrity and deliciousness, it was clear that my Seitempfu was ready for its greatest test: convincing a dubious family of meat eaters that it was a superior Thanksgiving treat to Turkey.

Seitempfu 3: Consumption: The family is Whelmed

Many thanks to all those involved in filming, eating and gently chiding me for this endeavor.

Please do investigate the soy free elements of this website, there’s much more to chow on.